When your wants turn into needs.

*** Warning: This blog does contain spirituality and talks of my religion (www.mormon.org) and my inner most thoughts. If you cannot "hang" with it, then you can leave now... otherwise - I warned you***

First of all let me start off by saying: I am not ashamed to be LDS (A member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints) nor will I ever be! 

I believe in Christ, who is my king. I believe in the teachings and the power of The Book of Mormon and I know that Joseph Smith saw Christ and Heavenly Father and was instructed to lead our generation through the Latter Day. 

I believe and know that this is the true gospel of Christ, if you don't, then that is up to you. 

Now to the heart of the blog post: 

Let state this statement "I am who I am, and for that, I am not ashamed nor embarrassed" - me. 

In my 27 (almost 28) years of life I have been going to church, and loving it! I have had my spouts of lacking in faith and also had my rebellious stage. Alcohol never appealed to me, smoking was never an issue, but not going to church, hanging with the wrong crowd, going to parties, and swearing like a sailor were issues. Each member and each person have their own battles. It wasn't until I was diagnosed with depression that I truly knew that this was my battle for the time being and that the only way through it was through Christ and faith.

I have friends of all walks of life, of all colors, of all religions. I am a very open minded human being. I love all of my friends. 

I used to want to be part of the crowd, and shake things off my shoulders and let people talk about my religion and make the jokes. I can laugh at myself. 

Lately I have had tests of friendships who have been "judging" or "ridiculing" my beliefs, stating that they cannot be themselves around me and that they cannot do the things they want around me. A shift in the friendship happens where we are cordial to each other at work or at other functions, but we aren't as close as we used to be. 

I am over it.

I am me. I do what I want just like you. My wants are not your wants, my needs have become my wants in my current walk of life.

I want to get married in the temple so I need to get married in the temple.

They state "you are just doing it because you are brainwashed"

I state "Nope, I am an independent mind and can make decisions for myself". I decided that I want to be LDS, but most importantly, I NEED to be LDS.

When I feel alone, burdened, sad, depressed, in my darkest time ... I can turn to my best friends always, but mostly I can kneel and speak with my Heavenly Father and get his counsel. 

It only took me 27 years to realize that this is what I want.

I am too old to be running around figuring out who I am. I know who I am. 

Yes I am still growing as a person, but I know the bullet points of my life:

* Temple

* Marriage in Temple

* Eternal Companionship

* Gospel

* Family

Alway the main list for me. 

So to those "friends"... I don't care what you do. I don't care who are. I don't care who you hang out with. I never have! Yes, we all make decisions we aren't going to be happy about (especially when it comes to true friendships), but in the end, you don't just drop your friends without legit reasoning. 

So to the friends who have been by my side through thick and thin....

THANK YOU!

To those "friends"... thank you... thank you for making me see there is more to life than trying to impress people and be part of the mold.

The End.