After an eventful evening of going to the T-Mobile store to upgrade my Nexus 6 to an iPhone, finding that all stores near you did not have an iPhone 6S+ nor the newest phone in stock... I finally went with preordering the iPhone 7s+ in Rose Gold with 64 GB of storage, paid off my cell phone I have now, so I could start payments on my new one. Good news is, by Thanksgiving... I should have a new phone, bad news, I am stuck with my glitchy phone until then. But one cannot complain with such a minimal "first world problem". Oh, did I mention, I left my debit card at work, so I had to do this on my credit card.... thank goodness for online payments!
My plans kind of fell through after that, no one's fault but the sickness my sweet friend encountered. I got into my car, drove back to work got my debit card and then made the biggest ballsiest (is that a word?) move I think I have done since that time I went to a movie 100% alone. I went to Chili's by myself.
One cannot blame a girl of my size with the possibility of PCOS hanging over her shoulder, with a high cholesterol wanting one last final delicious fatty steak. Chili's had the meat, the chips, and avocado ranch, and mashed potatoes I was looking for. My final last supper before I go on lean meats and minimizing, if not depleting, any saturated fats in my diet.
The movie alone experience was not half bad, so I thought the dinner one couldn't be either. When I went to the movie alone, I was in the dark with my popcorn, nachos, and a pickle in hand ready to enjoy the feature. I think there was only one other couple in there, they were older and did not make me feel awkward, they sat a good distance away.
Flash forward to tonight, I park my car, Snapchat my friends to tell them I am going to dinner alone, and walk inside.
"Hello ma'am, how many in your party?" says the teenage boy greeter.
"Just one..." I say with a faint embarrassment in my voice.
I remember that I am doing this as a single, independent woman! I do not need this feeling, so I straighten up and sit down while he finds me a table. He comes to get me and takes me to the two person seat. I thank him and sit down.
I look through the menu, and the 21 or older server guy who looks like he is from The Jersey Shore comes over "oh hey miss uh just you tonight?". Oh dear, here comes the silent judging from the kid who probably has a hard time NOT getting a date. Silently judging the fat girl at Chili's alone... who will order more food than you would expect, but only to have leftovers for later.
After ordering my drink, chips, and meal, I pull out my Master's Program reading to slay the awkward feeling I feel. But then something happens, my empowerment comes back at me. I can do this! I dined, and I enjoyed myself! The only con was that my service was not up to par as it normally would be with others, but I did it!
In the end, I feel like eating out alone at a sit-down restaurant will not be a frequent occurrence, just the occasional weekday where I want to get out of the norm.
This introvert conquered it and slew the lonely dragon. Would it have been better with friends? Yes. Would it have been better to just go through a drive through or make my own food? Yes. But tonight was about empowerment and a fare thee well to a scared girl into a woman who doesn't give two shits!
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